This blog post is the eighth in a series that is a deep dive into
what I call The Principles of Truly Human Leadership, from the revised
and expanded 10th anniversary edition of my book, Everybody Matters: The Extraordinary Power of Caring for Your People Like Family, available now.
A few years ago, I met Steve Jones, a high school football coach from Kimberly, Wisconsin.
Steve led his teams to five consecutive state titles from 2013-2017 with an incredible run of 70 uninterrupted victories, a Wisconsin state record.
I’ve always been a casual sports fan, I’ve enjoyed watching my children and grandchildren play. But one thing that’s always bothered me, especially when it comes to school sports, was the concept of winning and losing.
So, I asked Steve what he taught his players. His response surprised me. “We don’t talk about winning and losing,” he said. “We teach our players to play their position well as an act of respect for their teammates. When people truly care for one another, it’s amazing how hard they will work for each other.”
Steve’s approach captures the essence of a caring culture. It’s not about individual accolades; it’s about a profound commitment to the team.
When players—or the people in our organizations—feel safe, supported, and valued, it strengthens the sense of responsibility they have toward one another. They bring their whole selves to the game. They work not out of obligation, but out of respect and care.
At Barry-Wehmiller, this mindset shapes our leadership philosophy. We teach our leaders how to create environments of unconditional care.
When leaders listen empathetically, celebrate contributions, and recognize the inherent dignity of each of their team members, they foster a culture where people want to “play their position well” for the collective good.
Leaders should help those they lead shift from focusing solely on individual career success to focusing equally on playing their positions well for the benefit of the team. A team beats an individual every time.
Looking Beyond Me and My Success
In my business education and early experience, I was taught that my career was about me and my success.
And that’s how many “leaders” see their roles. But that’s not leadership, it’s management.
When you see your career as only about you, it becomes easy to see others as functions and manipulate them for your success. This is at the heart of what “management” really is.
It reminds me of a Simon Sinek quote: “In the military, they give medals to those who are willing to sacrifice themselves so that others may gain. In business, we give bonuses to those who are willing to sacrifice others so that they may gain.”
By contrast, leadership is the stewardship of the lives entrusted to you with the vision of sending them home each night knowing that who they are and what they do matters.
When someone joins our “team,” we ask them to partner with us in pursuit of our shared vision. True leaders set measurable goals to allow that person to relate their contribution to the realization of the vision.
This is similar to what Coach Jones told me. By his rationale, playing sports in little league or high school or college is not solely about winning the game, it’s more about shaping lives and learning to play as a team.
As the old saying goes, “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”
Couldn’t we apply this equally to our leadership in business?
Now, obviously, in terms of our business, the metaphor doesn’t completely hold up. We need to win in a financial sense to support our team members and for all stakeholders to be successful. But there is a lot of truth in the value of “how we play the game.”
True leaders recognize and celebrate the contributions of team members. They coach and mentor them in certain areas and empower them in others. True leaders believe in team members even when that person doesn’t have confidence in their own potential.
And when we inspire team members to achieve, they will “win” in so many ways.
They Had It in Them All The Time
One of my first realizations in my mindset change from management to leadership was that business could be fun.
In an acquisition we made in 1997, I implemented a form of gamification in the parts customer service department. In 13 weeks, sales increased 20 percent as a result.
We decided to roll this out to another division in Baltimore, where we had an equally dramatic experience.
When I walked in, the sign above the entrance said, “Committed to our customers’ success.” I asked the leader of the Customer Service department what I would find among his team members. He replied, “A group of pissed off people.”
The leader went on to say what he thought I wanted to hear. “It’s kind of a dysfunctional team; we probably need to address some people issues and reduce some headcount.”
Instead, we implemented our simple motivational game for the team members and began celebrating daily and weekly team and individual wins. The performance of the team turned around over night, but more incredibly, the culture of the team changed. Results jumped beyond the goal we had set and lasted for 13 straight weeks.
After 60 days of playing the game, I asked the team how they felt about it. Tears streamed down the face of one associate as she relayed the experience of her teammate giving her an order so that she could achieve her daily goal and “win the game” that day. A wonderful sense of camaraderie emerged, brought about simply by the experience of winning together.
In awe of the dramatic change in performance and culture on this team, I asked the team leader, “Now what do you think about this group of people?”
He said, “I never would have thought they had it in them.”
The truth is they had it in them all the time. What was lacking was the right leadership to bring out the very best in them. The creative gifts of our people are often suppressed by classic “management” practices.
Leadership is Stewardship
Everyone plays an important role in a business or organization. We all play a part in creating value as well as an environment of care, in being there for each other.
We’re all part of a team. Whether you’re the coach, the quarterback or a lineman, everyone has a role as part of their organization/team.
Leadership is a role with a profound responsibility—an obligation to the lives entrusted to your care. It is not about personal gain or authority but about accountability to something far greater than oneself.
Every person comes into this world with unique gifts, untapped potential, and endless possibilities. As leaders, our role is to recognize and nurture that potential, to see the talents and goodness within each individual, and to inspire them to become all they are meant to be.
It is a calling to uplift, empower, and help others fulfill the purpose they were born to achieve. At Barry-Wehmiller, we define leadership as stewardship—a deep and genuine responsibility for the lives we touch.
To us, stewardship means more than ethical decision-making; it is a profound commitment to care, to nurture, and to uplift. Too often, people endure toxic cultures and abusive leadership, leaving them disheartened and disconnected from their own humanity. Our aspiration is to heal this brokenness, to create environments where people feel valued, respected, and fully alive.
Stewardship is not about exerting power over others; it is about inspiring, guiding, and serving them. It is an invitation to lead through trust, not control—fostering an environment where people have the freedom to grow, contribute, and thrive.
True leadership is not about authority; it is about using influence to bring out the best in others, aligning individual potential with a shared vision and purpose. Stewardship is an act of service, a calling to lead in a way that restores dignity and enriches the lives of all who are part of the journey.
Serving others should define the heart of a leader, but to be a good teammate, we should always look for opportunities to show we care. So, the mindset and attitude of leadership, caring for others, is part of being on a team.
And then, when we establish this environment, when we play our positions well for each other, as Coach Jones says, “When people truly care for one another, it’s amazing how hard they will work for each other.”
Leaders should help those they lead shift from focusing solely on individual career success to focusing equally on playing their positions well for the benefit of the team. A team beats an individual every time.